Quotes 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People
“But until a person can say deeply and honestly, 'I am what I am today because of the choices I. In the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. 20 Inspiring Intimacy Quotes. Time to Thrive in Your Work and Life? Jun 28, 2018 ― Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change 'If you want to interact effectively with me, to influence me ꟷ your spouse, your child, your neighbor, your boss, your coworker, your friend ꟷ you first need to understand me.
- 'If we wanted to change the situation, we first had to change ourselves. . . And to change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions.'
- 'Each of us guards a gate of change that can only be opened from the inside.'
- 'what we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do'
- 'until a person can say deeply and honestly, “I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday,” that person cannot say, “I choose otherwise.”
- 'The way we see the problem is the problem.'
- 'We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.'
- 'the success literature of the past 50 years was superficial. It was filled with social image consciousness, techniques and quick fixes—with social band-aids and aspirin that addressed acute problems and sometimes even appeared to solve them temporarily, but left the underlying chronic problems untouched to fester and resurface time and again.'
- 'almost all the literature in the first 150 years or so focused on what could be called the Character Ethic . . . shortly after World War I the basic view of success shifted from the Character Ethic to what we might call the Personality Ethic. Success became more a function of personality, of public image, of attitudes and behaviors, skills and techniques, that lubricate the processes of human interaction.'
- 'we determined to focus our efforts on us—not on our techniques, but on our deepest motives and our perception of him. Instead of trying to change him, we tried to stand apart—to separate us from him—and to sense his identity, individuality, separateness, and worth.'
- 'Only basic goodness gives life to technique. . . To focus on technique is like cramming your way through school. . . but if you don’t pay the price day in and day out, you never achieve true mastery of the subjects. . . . Did you ever consider how ridiculous it would be to try to cram on a farm—to forget to plant in the spring, play all summer and then cram in the fall to bring in the harvest? The farm is a natural system. The price must be paid and the process followed. You always reap what you sow; there is no shortcut. . . . This principle is also true, ultimately, in human behavior, in human relationships. They, too, are natural systems.'
- 'secondary traits alone have no permanent worth in long-term relationships. Eventually, if there isn’t deep integrity and fundamental character strength, the challenges of life will cause true motives to surface and human relationship failure will replace short-term success'
- 'As Emerson once put it, “What you are shouts so loudly in my ears I cannot hear what you say.”
- 'what we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do'
- 'There are people we trust absolutely because we know their character. Whether they’re eloquent or not, whether they have the human relations techniques or not.'
- 'In the words of William George Jordan, “Into the hands of every individual is given a marvelous power for good or evil—the silent, unconscious, unseen influence of his life. This is simply the constant radiation of what man really is, not what he pretends to be.”
- 'Each of us has many, many maps in our head, which can be divided into two main categories: maps of the way things are, or realities, and maps of the way things should be, or values. We interpret everything we experience through these mental maps.'
- 'The way we see things is the source of the way we think and the way we act.'
- 'To try to change outward attitudes and behaviors does very little good in the long run if we fail to examine the basic paradigms from which those attitudes and behaviors flow.'
- 'As clearly and objectively as we think we see things, we begin to realize that others see them differently from their own apparently equally clear and objective point of view.'
- “Where we stand depends on where we sit.”
- 'Each of us tends to think we see things as they are, that we are objective. But this is not the case. We see the world, not as it is, but as we are—or, as we are conditioned to see it.'
- 'When we open our mouths to describe what we see, we in effect describe ourselves, our perceptions, our paradigms.'
- 'and the facts have no meaning whatsoever apart from the interpretation'
- 'The more aware we are of our basic paradigms, maps, or assumptions, and the extent to which we have been influenced by our experience, the more we can take responsibility for those paradigms, examine them, test them against reality, listen to others and be open to their perceptions'
- 'We can only achieve quantum improvements in our lives as we quit hacking at the leaves of attitude and behavior and get to work on the root, the paradigms from which our attitudes and behaviors flow.'
- 'Paradigms are powerful because they create the lens through which we see the world.'
- 'Principles are like lighthouses. They are natural laws that cannot be broken.'
- 'While practices are situationally specific, principles are deep, fundamental truths that have universal application.'
- 'Principles are the territory. Values are maps. When we value correct principles, we have truth—a knowledge of things as they are.'
- “A thousand-mile journey begins with the first step and can only be taken one step at a time.'
- 'Admission of ignorance is often the first step in our education.'
- 'To relate effectively with a wife, a husband, children, friends, or working associates, we must learn to listen. And this requires emotional strength. Listening involves patience, openness, and the desire to understand—highly developed qualities of character. It’s so much easier to operate from a low emotional level and to give high-level advice.'
- 'Perhaps my daughter needed the experience of possessing the things before she could give them. (In fact, unless I possess something, can I ever really give it?)'
- 'But borrowing strength builds weakness. It builds weakness in the borrower because it reinforces dependence on external factors to get things done. It builds weakness in the person forced to acquiesce, stunting the development of independent reasoning, growth, and internal discipline. And finally, it builds weakness in the relationship. Fear replaces cooperation, and both people involved become more arbitrary and defensive.'
- 'once children gain a sense of real possession, they share very naturally, freely, and spontaneously'
- 'There are times to teach and times not to teach. When relationships are strained and the air charged with emotion, an attempt to teach is often perceived as a form of judgment and rejection. . . But to take the child alone, quietly, when the relationship is good and to discuss the teaching or the value seems to have much greater impact.'
- 'eliminate some of the cosmetic or acute problems through social aspirin and band-aids. But the underlying chronic condition remains, and eventually new acute symptoms will appear.'
- 'The more people are into quick fix and focus on the acute problems and pain, the more that very approach contributes to the underlying chronic condition.'
- 'The way we see the problem is the problem.'
- 'Is getting more things done in less time going to make a difference—or will it just increase the pace at which I react to the people and circumstances that seem to control my life?'
- 'Albert Einstein observed, “The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.”
- 'if you want to have a happy marriage, be the kind of person who generates positive energy and sidesteps negative energy rather than empowering it.'
- 'If you want to have a more pleasant, cooperative teenager, be a more understanding, empathic, consistent, loving parent.'
- 'If you want to have more freedom, more latitude in your job, be a more responsible, a more helpful, a more contributing employee. If you want to be trusted, be trustworthy.'
- 'private victories precede public victories, that making and keeping promises to ourselves precedes making and keeping promises to others. It says it is futile to put personality ahead of character, to try to improve relationships with others before improving ourselves.'
- 'Inside-out is a process—a continuing process of renewal based on the natural laws that govern human growth and progress. It’s an upward spiral of growth that leads to progressively higher forms of responsible independence and effective interdependence.'
- 'T. S. Eliot’s observation: We must not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time.'
- 'We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.'
- 'Aristotle: Our character, basically, is a composite of our habits. “Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny,”
- 'Habits, too, have tremendous gravity pull . . . “Lift off” takes a tremendous effort, but once we break out of the gravity pull, our freedom takes on a whole new dimension.
- 'Like any natural force, gravity pull can work with us or against us. The gravity pull of some of our habits may currently be keeping us from going where we want to go.'
- 'define a habit as the intersection of knowledge, skill, and desire. Knowledge is the theoretical paradigm, the what to do and the why. Skill is the how to do. And desire is the motivation, the want to do. In order to make something a habit in our lives, we have to have all three.'
- 'Happiness can be defined, in part at least, as the fruit of the desire and ability to sacrifice what we want now for what we want eventually.'
- 'And there are many dimensions to growth.'
- 'On the maturity continuum, dependence is the paradigm of you—you take care of me; you come through for me; you didn’t come through; I blame you for the results. Independence is the paradigm of I—I can do it; I am responsible; I am self-reliant; I can choose. Interdependence is the paradigm of we—we can do it; we can cooperate; we can combine our talents and abilities and create something greater together.'
- 'Independence is a major achievement in and of itself. But independence is not supreme.'
- 'Most of the self-improvement material puts independence on a pedestal, as though communication, teamwork, and cooperation were lesser values.'
- 'The little understood concept of interdependence appears to many to smack of dependence, and therefore, we find people, often for selfish reasons, leaving their marriages, abandoning their children, and forsaking all kinds of social responsibility—all in the name of independence.'
- 'Life is, by nature, highly interdependent. To try to achieve maximum effectiveness through independence is like trying to play tennis with a golf club—the tool is not suited to the reality.'
- 'If I am emotionally interdependent, I derive a great sense of worth within myself, but I also recognize the need for love, for giving, and for receiving love from others. If I am intellectually interdependent, I realize that I need the best thinking of other people to join with my own.'
- 'As an interdependent person, I have the opportunity to share myself deeply, meaningfully, with others, and I have access to the vast resources and potential of other human beings.'
- 'Interdependence is a choice only independent people can make. Dependent people cannot choose to become interdependent.'
- 'Effectiveness lies in the balance—what I call the P/PC Balance. P stands for production of desired results, the golden eggs. PC stands for production capability, the ability or asset that produces the golden eggs.'
- 'three kinds of assets: physical, financial, and human'
- 'always treat your employees exactly as you want them to treat your best customers'
- 'You can buy a person’s hand, but you can’t buy his heart. His heart is where his enthusiasm, his loyalty is. You can buy his back, but you can’t buy his brain. That’s where his creativity is, his ingenuity, his resourcefulness.'
- 'Each of us guards a gate of change that can only be opened from the inside.'
- 'Ironically, you’ll find that as you care less about what others think of you, you will care more about what others think of themselves and their worlds, including their relationship with you. You’ll no longer build your emotional life on other people’s weaknesses.'
- 'Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender.'
- 'Thomas Paine, “That which we obtain too easily, we esteem too lightly. It is dearness only which gives everything its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price on its goods.”
- 'I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.' ~ HENRY DAVID THOREAU
- 'We are not our feelings. We are not our moods. We are not even our thoughts. The very fact that we can think about these things separates us from them.'
- 'Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose.'
- 'Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility. They do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. Their behavior is a product of their own conscious choice, based on values, rather than a product of their conditions, based on feeling.'
- 'Proactive people can carry their own weather with them. Whether it rains or shines makes no difference to them. They are value driven; and if their value is to produce good quality work'
- 'The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of the proactive person. Reactive people are driven by feelings, by circumstances, by conditions, by their environment. Proactive people are driven by values—carefully thought about, selected and internalized values.'
- 'Eleanor Roosevelt observed, “No one can hurt you without your consent.”
- 'In the words of Gandhi, “They cannot take away our self respect if we do not give it to them.”
- 'until a person can say deeply and honestly, “I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday,” that person cannot say, “I choose otherwise.”
- 'It’s not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us.'
- 'Holding people to the responsible course is not demeaning; it is affirming.'
- 'The language of reactive people absolves them of responsibility.'
- 'A serious problem with reactive language is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. People become reinforced in the paradigm that they are determined, and they produce evidence to support the belief. They feel increasingly victimized and out of control, not in charge of their life or their destiny. They blame outside forces—other people, circumstances, even the stars—for their own situation.'
- “My friend, love is a verb. Love—the feeling—is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her.'
- 'In the great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling.'
- 'Proactive people make love a verb. Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the giving of self'
- 'It’s the nature of reactive people to absolve themselves of responsibility.'
- 'Happiness, like unhappiness, is a proactive choice.'
- 'While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of those actions.'
- 'The proactive approach to a mistake is to acknowledge it instantly, correct and learn from it.'
- 'As we make and keep commitments, even small commitments, we begin to establish an inner integrity that gives us the awareness of self-control and the courage and strength to accept more of the responsibility for our own lives.'
- 'By making and keeping promises to ourselves and others, little by little, our honor becomes greater than our moods.'
- 'Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.'
- 'What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.'Oliver Wendell Holmes
- 'all things are created twice. There’s a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation to all things'
- 'We are either the second creation of our own proactive design, or we are the second creation of other people’s agendas, of circumstances, or of past habits.'
- “Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.”
- 'Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall.'
- 'We are more in need of a vision or destination and a compass (a set of principles or directions) and less in need of a road map.'
- 'But an inner compass will always give us direction.'
| Author | Stephen R. Covey |
|---|---|
| Country | USA |
| Language | English |
| Subject | Self-help |
| Publisher | Free Press |
| 1989 | |
| Media type | Print (Hardcover, Paperback) |
| Pages | 381 |
| ISBN | 0-7432-6951-9 |
| OCLC | 56413718 |
| 158 22 | |
| LC Class | BF637.S8 C68 2004 |
| Followed by | The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness |
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, first published in 1989, is a business and self-help book written by Stephen Covey.[1] Covey presents an approach to being effective in attaining goals by aligning oneself to what he calls 'true north' principles based on a character ethic that he presents as universal and timeless.
Covey defines effectiveness as the balance of obtaining desirable results with caring for that which produces those results. He illustrates this by referring to the fable of the goose that laid the golden eggs. He further claims that effectiveness can be expressed in terms of the P/PC ratio, where P refers to getting desired results and PC is caring for that which produces the results.
Covey's best-known book has sold more than 25 million copies worldwide since its first publication.[2] The audio version became the first non-fiction audio-book in U.S. publishing history to sell more than one million copies.[3] Covey argues against what he calls 'the personality ethic', that he sees as prevalent in many modern self-help books. He promotes what he labels 'the character ethic': aligning one's values with so-called universal and timeless principles. In doing this, Covey distinguishes principles and values. He sees principles as external natural laws, while values remain internal and subjective. Our values govern our behavior, while principles ultimately determine the consequences. Covey presents his teachings in a series of habits, manifesting as a progression from dependence through independence on to interdependence.
The 7 Habits[edit]
Covey introduces the concept of paradigm shift and helps the reader understand that different perspectives exist, i.e. that two people can see the same thing and yet differ from each other.
Covey also introduces the Maturity Continuum. These are three successive stages of increasing maturity: dependence, independence, and interdependence. At birth, everybody is dependent, and characteristics of dependence may linger; this is the first and lowest stage of maturity.
Dependence means you need others to get what you need. All of us began life as an infant, depending on others for nurturing and sustenance. I may be intellectually dependent on other people's thinking; I may be emotionally dependent on other people's affirmation and validation of me. Dependence is the attitude of 'you': you take care of me... or you don't come through and I blame you for the result.
Quotes 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People Cliff Notes
Independence means you are pretty much free from the external influence [and] support of others. ... Independence is the attitude of 'I'. ... It is the avowed goal of many individuals, and also many social movements, to enthrone independence as the highest level of achievement, but it is not the ultimate goal in effective living. There is a far more mature and more advanced level.
The third and highest level in the Maturity Continuum is interdependence. ... We live in an interdependent reality. Interdependence is essential for good leaders; good team players; a successful marriage or family life; in organizations. Interdependence is the attitude of 'we': we can co-operate; we can be a team; we can combine our talents.
Each of the first three habits is intended to help achieve independence. The next three habits are intended to help achieve interdependence. The final, seventh habit is intended to help maintain these achievements. Each of the seven habits has a chapter of the book (or a section of the videotape or DVD) devoted to it:
Independence[edit]
The first three habits surround moving from dependence to independence (i.e., self-mastery):
1 - Be proactive[edit]
- Take responsibility for your reaction to your experiences, take the initiative to respond positively, and improve the situation. Recognize your Circle of Influence and Circle of Concern. Focus your responses and initiates on the center of your influence and constantly work to expand it. Don't sit and wait in a reactive mode, waiting for problems to happen (Circle of Concern) before taking action.[5]
2 - Begin with the end in mind[edit]
- Envision what you want in the future so you can work and plan towards it. Understand how people make decisions in their life. To be effective you need to act based on principles and constantly review your mission statements. Are you - right now - who you want to be? What do I have to say about myself? How do you want to be remembered? If habit 1 advises changing your life to act and be proactive, habit 2 advises that you are the programmer! Grow and stay humble.
All things are created twice. Before we act, we should act in our minds first. Before we create something, we measure twice. This is what the principle is about. Do not just act; think first: Is this how I want it to go, and are these the correct consequences?[6]
3 - First things first[edit]
If habit 2 advises that you are the programmer, habit 3 advises: write the program, become a leader! Keep personal integrity: what you say vs what you do.[9]
Interdependence[edit]
The next three habits talk about Interdependence (e.g., working with others):
4 - Think win-win[edit]
- Genuine feelings for mutually beneficial solutions or agreements in your relationships. Value and respect people by understanding a 'win' for all is ultimately a better long-term resolution than if only one person in the situation had gotten their way. Think Win-Win isn't about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique. It is a character-based code for human interaction and collaboration.[10]
5 - Seek first to understand, then to be understood[edit]
- Use empathetic listening to genuinely understand a person, which compels them to reciprocate the listening and take an open mind to be influenced by you. This creates an atmosphere of caring, and positive problem-solving.
- Habit 5 is greatly embraced in the Greek philosophy represented by 3 words:
- 1) Ethos -- your personal credibility. It's the trust that you inspire, your Emotional Bank Account.
- 2) Pathos is the empathetic side -- it's the alignment with the emotional trust of another person's communication.
- 3) Logos is the logic -- the reasoning part of the presentation.
- The order is important: ethos, pathos, logos -- your character, and your relationships, and then the logic of your presentation.[11]
6 - Synergize[edit]
- Combine the strengths of people through positive teamwork, so as to achieve goals that no one could have done alone.[12]
Continual improvement[edit]
The final habit is that of continuous improvement in both the personal and interpersonal spheres of influence.
7 - Sharpen the Saw; Growth[edit]
See also: Kaizen (continuous improvement)
- Balance and renew your resources, energy, and health to create a sustainable, long-term, effective lifestyle. It primarily emphasizes exercise for physical renewal, good prayer (meditation, yoga, etc.), and good reading for mental renewal. It also mentions service to society for spiritual renewal.
Covey explains the 'Upward Spiral' model in the sharpening the saw section. Through our conscience, along with meaningful and consistent progress, the spiral will result in growth, change, and constant improvement. In essence, one is always attempting to integrate and master the principles outlined in The 7 Habits at progressively higher levels at each iteration. Subsequent development on any habit will render a different experience and you will learn the principles with a deeper understanding. The Upward Spiral model consists of three parts: learn, commit, do. According to Covey, one must be increasingly educating the conscience in order to grow and develop on the upward spiral. The idea of renewal by education will propel one along the path of personal freedom, security, wisdom, and power.[13][14]
Reception[edit]
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People has sold more than 25 million copies in 40 languages worldwide, and the audio version has sold 1.5 million copies, and remains one of the best selling nonfiction business books in history. In August 2011 Time listed 7 Habits as one of 'The 25 Most Influential Business Management Books'.[15]
U.S. President Bill Clinton invited Covey to Camp David to counsel him on how to integrate the book into his presidency.[16]
Abundance mentality[edit]
Covey coined the term abundance mentality, or abundance mindset, a concept in which a person believes there are enough resources and successes to share with others. He contrasts it with the scarcity mindset (i.e., destructive and unnecessary competition), which is founded on the idea that if someone else wins or is successful in a situation, it means you lose, because you are not considering the possibility of all parties 'winning' in some way or another in a given situation (see zero-sum game). Individuals having an abundance mentality reject the notion of zero-sum games and are able to celebrate the success of others, rather than feel threatened by them.[17] The author contends that the abundance mentality arises from having a high self-worth and security (see Habits 1, 2, and 3), and leads to the sharing of profits, recognition and responsibility. Similarly, organizations may also apply an abundance mentality when doing business.[18]
Since The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People's publishing, a number of books appearing in the business press have discussed the idea.[19]
Formats[edit]
In addition to the book and audiobook versions, a VHS version also exists.[4]
Adaptations[edit]
Sean Covey, Stephen's son, has written a version of the book for teens, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, which simplifies the 7 Habits for younger readers to make them easier to understand. In September 2006, Sean Covey published The 6 Most Important Decisions You Will Ever Make A Guide for Teens, which highlights key times in the life of a teen and gives advice on how to deal with them. In September 2008, Covey published The 7 Habits of Happy Kids, a children's book illustrated by Stacy Curtis which further simplifies the 7 Habits for children and teaches them through stories with anthropomorphic animal characters.
Quotes 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People Audiobook
References[edit]
- ^'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People' author, Stephen Covey, dies'. Archived from the original on October 7, 2012.
- ^ForbesArchived 2017-03-29 at the Wayback Machine on Covey: 'Stephen Covey will be remembered most as the author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, which sold over 25 million copies.' (16 July 2012)
- ^''7 Habits' author Stephen Covey dead at 79'. CNN. Retrieved July 17, 2012.
- ^ abThe 7 habits of highly effective people (Videotape). Franklin Covey. 1989. OCLC42358104.
- ^The 7 Habits: Be Proactive, Not Reactive
- ^The 7 Habits: Begin With the End in Mind
- ^J., Scott, S. (April 10, 2017). Habit stacking : 127 small changes to improve your health, wealth, and happiness (2nd ed.). [Mahwah, NJ]. ISBN9781545339121. OCLC987616572.
- ^Eisenhower Matrix
- ^The 7 Habits: Put First Things First
- ^The 7 Habits: Think Win/Win
- ^The 7 Habits: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
- ^The 7 Habits: Synergy (Beyond the Eye-Rolling Buzzword)
- ^Covey, S. R. (1989). Organizing change:Upward Spiral. Free Press. ISBN0-7432-6951-9.
- ^The 7 Habits: Sharpen the Saw
- ^Gandel, Stephen (August 9, 2011). 'The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People (1989), by Stephen R. Covey'. Time. Retrieved January 3, 2020.
- ^Harper, Lena M. (Summer 2012). 'The Highly Effective Person'. Marriott Alumni Magazine. Brigham Young University. Retrieved August 11, 2012.
- ^English, L (2004). 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Information Professionals, Part 7'(PDF). DM Review. September/October '04: 60–61. Archived from the original(PDF) on January 27, 2018.
- ^Krayer, Karl J.; Lee, William Thomas (2003). Organizing change: an inclusive, systemic approach to maintain productivity and achieve results. San Diego: Pfeiffer. p. 238. ISBN0-7879-6443-3.
- ^See for instance the chapter in Carolyn Simpson's High Performance through Negotiation.